My eye gaze stopped only for one picture.
There was no reaction in my mind for a split second, but my brain started to make sense of the couple of years ago. Suddenly my breath just a little choked up, my body trembled, and my heart felt the glow of life. Beautiful. Happy.
“I am yours.”
“You know how much I love you.”
His eyes touched me with love. I let his fingers clutching my fingers. And his lips touched my cheek. Warm.
“You son of a thief!”
“What do you mean?” I was shocked over his statement.
“Your father and your mother must have stolen the stars in the sky to be placed in your eyes. I became more and more drugged to see it. ”
Clearly, a seduction. But I still lost in his words. His figures was dancing in my memory. God, I love the perfect shape of his jaw and the facial expressions caused by it. I love those eyes. No, I think I just always liked the way his eyes stared at me. As if his love for me was so overwhelming and did not know what to do to help it shed.
I am happy. I feel warmth.
Then suddenly it all changed. Pulsing. Pain. I felt a little pain in my left chest. I felt my heart pounding.
Disappointed. Tears. Missing.
The sound of crash on the glass walls of my right ear made me spontaneously slumped on the floor. If his fist had been hitting me, definitely it had crushed my cheek bones. This apartment’s balcony glass walls has almost cracked. But what I saw instead was the one who shook his right hand that bleed.
I’m scared and my tears dropped without a sound of crying and expression. He squatted next to me with his cold face and wild eyes that seemed about to flay me. I surrendered. Maybe this is already my time.
“You know how much I love you.”
He whispered so close to my ear. Then he pressed his cheek to my cheek.
“If you want to go back to him, you know what you have to say .. We’ve talked about this .. ”
I shook my head and screaming. I could not. Only him, the man who rules my heart. Only him, the man in front of me, whom I love. But I don’t belong to him.
“The words must come from you. Say it, damn it! “
This time his lips got closer to my ears and he shouted the same sentence over and over again. Until my body was shaking. My brain felt hot and burning.
“… Go away… Go away …”
My voice was drowned and reveal useless words.
“What …? I can not hear you … ” even he said so, from his voice I knew that he understood what has come out from me.
I tried to breathe. In. Deeper. But his body has held me very tight and makes me difficult to breathe. I felt wet in my cheek, and I realized it was not my tears. It was his.
“Get out of my life.” Now I sounded clear.
He lifted his head and slowly move backwards away from me. His eyes were no longer recognize me. He saw me with a strange and his tears dried away.
I did not know what happened next. All I knew he’s no longer in my life. Until now.
Empty. Now I feel the emptiness in my heart.
I still hold that one picture. Just by looking at it, mostly all the feeling back in the heart because of this turbulence moment. This picture was taken 6 years ago. When we were in love. Full of love and betrayal.
There is not even us that were captured in the picture. Yet this is the only picture that would remind me of him. It seems that even God does not allow me anymore to simply view the picture of the man whom I really loved.
I remember, that day was a wonderful afternoon at the Dubai Creek. The picture was taken as we were in the Abra, a traditional boat that took us through the beauty of the river and thousands of birds accompanied us that started our love.
But now look at me. Alone. Only by myself. Without anyone. Without Love.